I AM SAVED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh boy.... Big day!

I had completed my last blog entry and thought, "I am asking, seeking and knocking" like Matthew 7:7 says to do.  The prayer in my heart was to be completely convinced to be saved and accept Jesus as my Savior.

Baby Ryan woke up from his nap and I mixed up some baby cereal for him.  He was so excited to eat, he was banging on his high chair and grinning from ear to ear.  His smile just brought this overwhelming euphoric feeling to my heart... I was so happy to see him be so happy!  The lyrics to a song by Jann Arden (who isn't even a Christian artist) came to mind: "I am breathless in the mercy of a smile!"  Then I thought of the chorus to that same song:

I am saved, I believe, I am not going to be like I was, I have changed, I am saved!

Then, like continued inspiration, I thought about how much I love my son and how much I want to protect him, keep him healthy and safe, and be vigilant of his well being.  It resonated with what I just researched about what the word "saved" meant in it's translation. (From my previous post: The word "saved" is translated from the word sozo.  It means the following: To deliver or protect [literally or figuratively], to heal, preserve, do well, and be [make] whole.) God just wants to protect me, keep me healthy and safe, and be vigilant of MY well being!  The love I have for my son is just a portion of the love God has for me!

I was contemplating that when I decided to call Alice.  She was telling me that this coming Thursday she wanted to have us watch a movie she had gotten about God, the Bible and how things that were prophesied about  are now happening. 
She said, "You will be totally convinced that there is a God after seeing this movie!" 
I said, "I am convinced that there is a God - I've never doubted that.  I've doubted that Christ is the only way to God.  When I stepped away from the religion I was raised in, I tried to learn about all religions and what they taught.  I came to the conclusion that if 'God is Love' and those religions all taught that and were good, then there is more than one way." 
She said to me, "Do you believe the religion you were raised in is truth?" 
I said, "No, I don't.  I found that it was based on erroneous teaching." 
She said, "But it still has 'good' teachings." 
I said, "Good point."

She went on to make an illustration to me. 
She said, "If I were drowning and you were on a boat, what would you do?" 
I said, "I would throw a life preserver out to you." 
She said, "But what good would that do if I chose not to grab it.  What if I just continued to flail and kick and not grab it?" 
I responded, "You would drown."
She said, "When you 'knock,' you are the one who opens the door." 

AND THEN IT CLICKED!!!!!!!!  Being "saved" was a CHOICE.

This certainly wasn't what I was expecting - I was expecting more work, or a huge momentous event, or something else.  It's a choice.  I had to choose to accept the life preserver so that I could be pulled out of the troubled waters and find rest aboard the good ship Jesus.  This analogy of drowning was particularly profound, as up to this point, I felt I had been in-over-my-head in life.  I needed something to pull me out of the overwhelming struggles I had been facing and nothing had ever worked.

This illustration also greatly clarified to me the separation between Christianity and all other beliefs... There is a Savior.  That Savior was and is Jesus Christ. Without Him, mankind could never, no matter how well-meaning and despite our best efforts, be without carnal thoughts, actions and behaviors - forever separating us from God. Though He could have eternally reigned on a Heavenly throne and watched us drown from above, He choose to subject Himself to humanity to save us from ourselves.  The Ultimate Life Preserver!

Shortly after getting off the phone with Alice, Baby Ryan was fussing and crying.  I tried to give him his favorite teething toy, I tried putting him in his swing chair, I tried nursing him.  Nothing would calm him but holding him to my heart and rocking him.  Only after I did that did he calm down and fall asleep.  Again, God used motherhood to teach me... nothing else in this world will calm me but choosing to accept the love Jesus has for me - only in Him will I be calm and find rest.

Then to seal the deal, a song came on Pandora (internet radio) on the Contemporary Christian station I was listening to.  It was by Chris Tomlin and was his version of Amazing Grace with his own chorus of My Chains Are Gone.  Here is the chorus:

My chains are gone
I've been set free
My God, my Savior has ransomed me
And like a flood His mercy rains
Unending love, Amazing grace

(actually hearing it is so powerful, I recommend it!)

And so, I proclaim, "I AM SAVED!"
"How precious did that grace appear, The hour I first believed."